Typically referred to as ‘the most wonderful time of the year,’ scanning the months of November through January can leave us feeling joyful and optimistic, or to be honest, full of dread.
And for many reasons.
We may feel pressured to look our best, leave the web of family drama at the door (only to find ourselves tangled up yet again in a few short hours), all the while observing half the room compete for the title of most successful.
It all can feel, well, a bit overwhelming…
The holidays are also a time when individuals’ mental health and/or recovery from drugs and alcohol are most susceptible to unwarranted turbulence: According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), “64% of people with mental illness report holidays make their conditions worse.”
Still, beneath the fear, worry, and anxiety of the season rests a fresh start. As cliché as it sounds, a new beginning. A chance to do things differently this time around.
And so we’re met with the question: How do we approach the upcoming family reunions and festive holiday parties so that we’re open to the magical moments—without having to worry about what our mother-in-law might come up with at the dinner table?
Because we all know that every family has that special someone!
First, we must identify what our holiday triggers are. Then, we need to introduce preventative measures and adopt effective coping strategies to combat the stress. In doing this, we support our own health, happiness and well-being; while at the same time, possibly make an impression on those around us, too.
A win-win, I’d say.
So while it’s true that the holidays have a way of inducing that all too familiar fight-or-flight response, oftentimes causing unpleasant or painful memories to bubble up to the surface, with a few practical tips we can change what the holiday season means for us (and our sanity!).
Let’s take a look at some common holiday triggers and discuss ways to combat the seasonal stress today.
Identifying Holiday Triggers
Whether you’re experiencing increased symptoms of anxiety or depression related to the approaching holiday season, or are in recovery from a substance use disorder, here are some common holiday triggers you’ll want to be aware of and prepare for:
Increased Stress and Expectations: Between choosing which family member’s gathering to attend and finding ways to successfully dodge the uncomfortable conversations that arise at the dinner table, without question this time of year can increase stress levels, likely causing us to feel pressured to meet the expectations of others.
Financial Strain: Nowadays, it’s not uncommon to notice the financial pressure of the holiday season crossing over to the professional world as well; between grab-bags, office potlucks and fancy galas, investing in holiday-themed activities can be exhausting—especially for our wallets!
Time Constraints: With new responsibilities, strict dead-lines and a surplus of highly-encouraged (aka mandatory) events to attend, it’s challenging to find time to balance all areas of our life during the holiday season.
Mental Health Struggles: For individuals who have anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions, certain interactions and experiences during this season can be more harmful than helpful. While it’s important to stay connected with people we trust and care for, it can be hazardous to attempt to hide undesirable mental health symptoms or to try to alleviate symptoms in an unhealthy way.
Risky Situations/Environments: Walking into a holiday party it’s not uncommon to see alcohol as the drink-of-choice among many. While the presence of alcohol may not be as triggering for one person as it is for another, individuals in recovery or who react unfavorably to alcohol and other substances should consider as to whether their sobriety or emotional state should be challenged in this way.
Attending a gathering or event where there is no alcohol or other mind-altering substances present, often referred to as a ‘dry party,’ can be a good solution for all to participate in the celebration.
*While the holiday season is a vulnerable time for many, identifying personal triggers with the help of a professional can have a significant impact on your health and well-being all-year-round.
Coping with Holiday Stress
If you know the holidays have a tendency to take a toll on you—physically, spiritually, or emotionally—it’s important to stay proactive and find ways to cope with holiday stress before it accumulates.
Here are some helpful ways to cope with holiday stress so that you can enjoy the season:
Feel your feelings, try not to repress difficult emotions
Connect with those who support you and who you feel comfortable with
Practice empathy and compassion for yourself and also others
Try not to set unrealistic expectations for yourself (or feel pressured to succumb to those of others)
Stick to a budget
Make a schedule for shopping, cooking, and activities
Continue healthy habits or begin taking small steps towards a healthier lifestyle
Set boundaries (it’s always OK to say no)
Make time for self-care (even if only for a few minutes each day)
Learn about a few grounding exercises that can be used during times of stress (breathwork, visualization, energy-work with essential oils, acupressure, stretching exercises or yoga)
Keep your well-being your first priority
Seek support from a trained mental health professional if you need to
When it comes to combating holiday stress, staying positive, proactive, and present with ourselves can make the season feel much less anxiety-provoking and much more enjoyable.
And remember, this year while you’re serving up a plate of your killer, mouth-watering pastries, or wrapping gifts for friends, family, and dare I suggest, your favorite barista, you (and only you) has the power to embrace the season fully—in a way that’s safe and comforting for you—basking in every magical moment that comes along with it.
Happy Holidays!
-Jacqueline Frey, LCSW
Therapist & Life Coach
