Empowerment! What exactly does that mean? Well roughly it means to give someone autonomy or self-determination. It means your giving power back to the individual.
I view it as so much more. In my profession empowering someone is a very high achievement especially since some clients I work with have dealt with having their power or autonomy stripped from them, be it by a friend, partner, their parent, or even by an institution they once trusted. Sometimes it has not so much been taken as gradually eroded by life.
The Pursuit of Empowerment
Living an authentic life is typically a shared goal among us, yet reaching it often means navigating through the uncharted waters of perfectionism and the urge to meet everyone else’s expectations at our own expense. This is where you can “lose” or give away some of your power because your accommodating for others too much.
And remember, you’re not the only one that’s been here.
It’s in knowing of the discomfort that can arise from setting boundaries, finding our voice, and connecting to the raw nature of our being, that many opt out or put off personal development for another rainy day. Little do we notice that it continues to downpour the longer we remain disconnected from ourselves and our visions.
Research from the American Psychological Association (APA) shares a concerning trend: nearly half of all women report a marked increase in stress, largely due to the pressures of achieving perfection and the constant desire to meet others’ expectations. This statistic emphasizes the urgent need for a guiding light, a support system that helps navigate the complexities of balancing our own desires with the world’s demands.
Tackling the Mental Load
A key aspect of the journey towards personal empowerment involves confronting the mental load—a concept far too familiar to many women. Just when we think our mind cannot possibly retain any more data, we get sent an SOS, and our fight-or-flight response is hijacked once again.
This mental load encompasses an extensive array of tasks and responsibilities that we find ourselves juggling daily. It’s the constant management and organization of not just our lives, but those of the people around us. From the roles of career woman, mother, and spouse to being a caretaker, friend, sister, daughter, and more, the hats we wear are abundant and ever-changing.
The Constant Pressure to Do It All
The pressure to manage these tasks and responsibilities stems partly from the belief that if we don’t do it, who will? Or who will do it to the standards we’ve set? Can I rely anyone else? Not to mention society has deemed us “the multitaskers,” or “we are just better managing it all.” The bar is already set so high. However, it’s crucial to remember that life isn’t about ensuring perfection in every task or role we undertake. It’s about finding joy, embracing the moments that bring us happiness, and allowing ourselves to live fully. Maybe you have been told you can do anything, but that doesn’t mean you have to do everything.
Finding Freedom and Asking for Help
Living authentically can sometimes feel foreign or scary especially when we have had so much time practicing perfectionism or trying to fit into a mold that is just not sustainable. Living authentically can be is big as moving to that country you always wanted to live in or saying no to kids if you really don’t want to be a parent. Or it can start with something small like sharing your opposing view in a discussion. It can also mean following your heart and signing up for that class you always wanted to take, saying no without feeling inclined to give an explanation, or speaking up for what you want a little more. Most importantly, it’s about recognizing that we don’t have to shoulder this burden alone. Asking for help is not only acceptable but necessary.
For those who feel isolated or overwhelmed, it’s worth exploring the roles we’ve taken on and the tasks we commit to.
Let’s ask ourselves:
- Do we need to manage everything ourselves?
Identifying tasks that can be delegated or shared can significantly lighten our load. Where possible, sharing responsibilities with partners, family members, or friends can foster a sense of community and support. This also may mean more emotional support than logistical.
- Where can we cut back?
Not every task needs to be done to perfection or even done by us. Prioritizing what truly matters can free up time and energy for what brings us joy.
Addressing our mental load is a vital step in the path to personal empowerment. By reassessing our commitments, asking for help, and prioritizing our well-being, we open the door to a life marked by fulfillment and freedom. Remember, empowerment isn’t just about managing every detail of our lives flawlessly or expecting all the pieces to come together straight away; it’s about embracing the beauty of living throughout all of its imperfections.Two cheerful charming young women drinking coffee and talking in cafe
A Glimpse: Powerful Actions for Growth
The path to personal empowerment includes several key actions:
Opening Up: Sharing your experiences and embracing vulnerability is a powerful step toward growth and healing.
Celebrating Wins: Recognizing achievements, no matter the size, reinforces progress and our self-esteem.
Practicing Self-Compassion: Being kind to yourself changes how you see yourself and interact with the world. (I can’t tell you how important this is and that it is a regular practice of mine.)
Building Support: Creating a network through therapy, workshops, or friendships can offer relief and connection, emphasizing the importance of community and that ever-elusive “village.”
The Power of Life Coaching & Therapy
My personal belief is that the combination of life coaching and therapy stands at the core of achieving personal empowerment, and thereafter, relaying it to others:
Life Coaching serves as a guide for moving forward, helping you identify strengths, affirm your identity, and connect with your inner essence. It provides motivation and keeps you focused on your goals.
Therapy offers an introspective look into the origins of our behaviors and beliefs. It’s an exploration aimed at understanding our self-imposed obligations, and the unrealistic standards we often hold ourselves to. Through therapy, we learn that these are reflections of our past, not measures of our worth.
Let’s Get Started
If you’re ready to start this transformation, I’m here to guide you. We will work together to discovering the authentic you and give her power back.
Don’t hesitate to inquire about more information.
I look forward to working together.
-Jacqueline Frey, LCSW & CLC (aka therapist and life coach)
Website: http://jacquelinefreytherapist.com/
Number: 904-834-0529 (Feel Free to text)
Email: thatjackiefrey@gmail.com
References
Borresen, K. (2024, March 26). The mental load hits moms hard, and it’s time we talk about it. HuffPost. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/mom-mental-load_l_63f7a67ee4b0616708e04d9a
Medaris, A. (2023, November 1). Stress in America: The impact of discrimination. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/women-stress
Psychology Today. (2021, November 10). Women carry most of the mental load running a household. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evidence-based-living/202111/women-carry-most-the-mental-load-running-household
